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Staff member
Feb 21, 2011
The free state of Missouri
You remember when Jordache jeans were cool.

In your fifth grade class picture you were wearing an Izod shirt with
the collar up.

You know the words to any Weird Al Yankovic song by heart.

The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.

You ever rang someone's doorbell and said "Landshark!"

Three words: Atari, IntelliVision and Coleco, sound familiar.

Remember the days when "safe sex" meant that your parents were gone
for the weekend.

Remember Friday Night Videos before the days of MTV.

A predominant color in your childhood photos is plaid.

While in high school, you and your friends discussed elaborate plans
to get together again at the end of the century and play Prince's
"1999" until you passed out partying.

You remember when music that was labeled alternative, really was.

You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan.

You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars
behind you.

You've ever conversationally used the phrase, "Jane, you ignorant
.... inappropiate

You watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that you're older, you
really understand that it would have been much better had you known
about drugs at the time.

You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following
When I was younger...
When I was your age...
You know, back when...

Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the
English language.

You're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD

You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran,
Madonna or Cyndi Lauper video.

The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance came during "Crazy
for You," by Madonna.

You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the
streets and made your old Big Wheel quite obsolete.

The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.

You honestly remember when film critics raved that no movie could
possibly have better special effects than those in the movie TRON.

Girls thought Sean Cassidy was dreamy, and lusted after Ted the
photographer on The Love Boat.

You freaked out when you found that you now fall into the age
on most questionnaires.

Your hair at some point in time in the 80's became something which
only be described by the phrase, "I was experimenting."

This timeline appropriately describes actual events in your life:
Star Wars opens, you are still in single digit ages, and you think
creatures are WAY cool; Empire Strikes Back opens, you are now in
early double digit ages, and you are convinced that the special
effects are much better, the characters are cool, and you want one of
every collectible out there; Return of the Jedi hits the theaters,
are now a teenager and you cannot get your eyes off Princess Leia's
breasts or Han Solo's butt.

You've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the
last five years, okay.

You're starting to believe now that maybe having the kids go to school
year round wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.

You're doing absolutely nothing pertaining to your major.

You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon.

U2 is too popular and mainstream for you now.

You ever used the phrase "Kiss mah grits!" in conversation.

You remember trying to guess the episode of the Brady Bunch from the
first scene.

You spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or
Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man.

You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's wedding on General

You remember, "Hey, let's be careful out there."

Your parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it
was pointless since Quincy got all the babes anyway.

You know who shot JR.

This rings a bell: "...and my name is Charlie. They work for me."

You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on after all.

You know all the words to the double album set of Grease.

You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut.

You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed 867-5309 to
if Jenny would answer.

"All skate, change directions," means something to you.

You owned a pair of Rainbow suspenders just like Mork used to wear.

You bought a pair of Vanns and wanted to order a pizza in history
class so you could be just like Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at
Ridgemont High.

You owned a Preppy Handbook.

You were too young to go see the Blue Lagoon so you just had to
for second hand reports.

You remember when there was only PG and R none of this PG-13 crap.

You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry
the emotional scars to this day.

You remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector switch.

You actually believed everything Leonard Nimoy told you on "In Search

Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those brick sized
packages of Bazooka gum.

Bo and Luke Duke

VCRs cost $2,000

There was nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together.

Rotary dial telephones

You actually believed that Mikey, famed for his Life cereal
commercials, died after eating a packet of pop rocks and drinking a

The theme song to Greatest American Hero still comes back to you on

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