Jokes
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Help Support Flooring Forum - DIY & Professional:
WHY OUR HEALTH CARE COSTS ARE SO HIGH!!!
Bubba had shingles.
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?
Here's what happened to Bubba:
Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'�
Bubba had shingles.
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?
Here's what happened to Bubba:
Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'�
John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
"Would you like a new mink coat?" he asks.
"Not really," says Mary.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John.
"No," she responds.
"Would some beautiful new jewelry do the trick?" he asks, becoming slightly exasperated.
"Nah..." she shrugs.
"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he persists.
She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks."
"Well what WOULD you like?" John asks.
"I want a divorce." answers Mary.
Sorry," John sighed. "I wasn't planning on spending that much.
"Would you like a new mink coat?" he asks.
"Not really," says Mary.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John.
"No," she responds.
"Would some beautiful new jewelry do the trick?" he asks, becoming slightly exasperated.
"Nah..." she shrugs.
"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he persists.
She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks."
"Well what WOULD you like?" John asks.
"I want a divorce." answers Mary.
Sorry," John sighed. "I wasn't planning on spending that much.
Curtis & Leroy Mule Traders
Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Hearald-Citizen in Cookeville, Tn.
and bought a mule for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
The next morning the farmer drove up and said,
"Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night ."
Curtis & Leroy replied, "Well, then just give us our money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."
The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"
Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"
Leroy said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy
at the IGA grocery store and asked.
“What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?”
They said, "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."
Leroy said, "Shucks, we sold 1000 tickets fer two dollars apiece
and made a profit of $1998.00
The farmer said, "My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"
Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset.
So we gave him his two dollars back."
Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.
They're overseeing the Vote Count, Bailout & Stimulus Programs.
Limit all U.S. politicians to two Terms.
One in office
One in prison
Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Hearald-Citizen in Cookeville, Tn.
and bought a mule for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
The next morning the farmer drove up and said,
"Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night ."
Curtis & Leroy replied, "Well, then just give us our money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."
The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"
Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"
Leroy said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy
at the IGA grocery store and asked.
“What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?”
They said, "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."
Leroy said, "Shucks, we sold 1000 tickets fer two dollars apiece
and made a profit of $1998.00
The farmer said, "My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"
Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset.
So we gave him his two dollars back."
Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.
They're overseeing the Vote Count, Bailout & Stimulus Programs.
Limit all U.S. politicians to two Terms.
One in office
One in prison
I'm thinking you could buy them in Oregon.
