My wife had a tubal 8 years before we had our youngest.
Jokes
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My wife had a tubal 8 years before we had our youngest.
I had a friend who had a vasectomy 3 times. Last time they removed a big section of tubing. His wife was fertile Myrtle and he wouldn't have believe she wasn't playing around on him in a million years. :army:
:camping:
Daris
:camping:
Daris
A high school assignment was to ask a veteran about their WWII experience.
A student's grandfather happened to be a vet that served in the South Pacific.
While interviewing grandpa, the student asked " did you ever kill anyone?"
The vet got very quiet for a few minutes, then said
"probably, I was the cook."
A student's grandfather happened to be a vet that served in the South Pacific.
While interviewing grandpa, the student asked " did you ever kill anyone?"
The vet got very quiet for a few minutes, then said
"probably, I was the cook."
My paternal grandfather was in the merchant marines for awhile and he told my father & his siblings about the cook on the ship he went out on. The meatballs were always salty & the crew liked them until one day they walked in and saw the big sweaty cook rolling the meatballs all over his sweaty arms and chest.
In the Army, I worked supply for the MPs for a while. We ate with them. They got much better food than the rest of the GIs.
Nick
In Remembrance
I was stationed with the UDT team Underwater demolition team till my ship came in ..
Steak and eggs for breakfast . anything you wanted ,they maid .
Then i got on the ship and was eating WW2 K rations 6 months strate playing war games ..
Steak and eggs for breakfast . anything you wanted ,they maid .
Then i got on the ship and was eating WW2 K rations 6 months strate playing war games ..
I was stationed with the UDT team Underwater demolition team till my ship came in ..
Steak and eggs for breakfast . anything you wanted ,they maid .
Then i got on the ship and was eating WW2 K rations 6 months strate playing war games ..
We had steak and eggs for breakfast, cooked to order. Chinese food at least once a week. Steak available almost every night too.
Just remembered my elderly friend telling me how he was stationed in China (was also stationed in India) and when he first got there, he went in to a local restaurant and asked for eggs-- but the locals didn't know how to make eggs the way the Americans liked them. They were bringing stuff like 100-year-old egg and such. So my friend tried to explain to them how to do it and was asked to show them in the kitchen. So he got them to provide the fixings for it and he made the eggs while the cook watched him very carefully. It really made the place boom when more Americans came in because it was the only one that knew how to make the eggs the way they liked.
Dad told me that when he was in the Army they would get liver and other stuff that most of the GIs wouldn't eat, so he would eat leftovers they rejected because he wasn't picky. He was malnourished before he joined the Army because his family was poor and his mother only knew how to boil the hell out of stuff-- no other cooking techniques & didn't know how to use seasoning. LOL. He did reject the jello though. Apparently all of the leftovers (onions, peas, etc) got put in the jello.
And now I'm thinking of the song "The Navy gets the gravy but the Army gets the beans". LOL.
Dad told me that when he was in the Army they would get liver and other stuff that most of the GIs wouldn't eat, so he would eat leftovers they rejected because he wasn't picky. He was malnourished before he joined the Army because his family was poor and his mother only knew how to boil the hell out of stuff-- no other cooking techniques & didn't know how to use seasoning. LOL. He did reject the jello though. Apparently all of the leftovers (onions, peas, etc) got put in the jello.
And now I'm thinking of the song "The Navy gets the gravy but the Army gets the beans". LOL.
In the Navy we ate good. At least where I was at in Pensacola. The Navy gets a higher food allowance than the rest of the services, so they said. Being from the north I thought grits was Cream of Wheat so I ate them with milk and sugar. One of the most disgusting foods we had was Welch Rabbit. Looked the color of baby crap and tasted like it too!. :army: There was no rabbit in it which I liked.
:camping:
Daris
:camping:
Daris
Nick
In Remembrance
Coast Guard had the food .. The shopped at the Grocery store in town ..
All top quality stuff ..
All top quality stuff ..
Nick
In Remembrance
....
Three Wishes
A man was walking along the beach when he finds an old oil lamp. He picks it up and rubs it and out comes a genie.
The genie says to the startled man, Thank you for freeing me from the lamp. For this I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will get twice as much. What is your first wish?
The man says, I'd like a brand new Rolls Royce!
The genie says, You now have a brand new Rolls Royce in your garage at home, and your ex-wife has two. What is your second wish?
The man says, I'd like five million dollars in my bank account!
The genie replied, You now have five million dollars in your bank account, and your ex-wife has ten million dollars in hers. What is your third and final wish?
The man thinks for a moment, turns to the genie and says, I want you to scare me half to death!
A man was walking along the beach when he finds an old oil lamp. He picks it up and rubs it and out comes a genie.
The genie says to the startled man, Thank you for freeing me from the lamp. For this I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will get twice as much. What is your first wish?
The man says, I'd like a brand new Rolls Royce!
The genie says, You now have a brand new Rolls Royce in your garage at home, and your ex-wife has two. What is your second wish?
The man says, I'd like five million dollars in my bank account!
The genie replied, You now have five million dollars in your bank account, and your ex-wife has ten million dollars in hers. What is your third and final wish?
The man thinks for a moment, turns to the genie and says, I want you to scare me half to death!
The main reason that santa is
so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls
live.
so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls
live.
balls
Nick
In Remembrance
.... I'm ready to give him one behind the ear !!
Nick
In Remembrance
The owner of a drugstore walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a
wall with an odd look on his face.
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here at 7 A.M. to get something for his
cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of
laxatives."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
wall with an odd look on his face.
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here at 7 A.M. to get something for his
cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of
laxatives."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it was, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?"
The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk."
The man sets about his task. Forty five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, "I have travelled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth."
The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is right behind that door."
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?" The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
But I can't tell you what it is, because you're not a monk ...
:camping:
Daris
Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it was, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?"
The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk."
The man sets about his task. Forty five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, "I have travelled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth."
The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is right behind that door."
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?" The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
But I can't tell you what it is, because you're not a monk ...
:camping:
Daris
Nick
In Remembrance
....
I bet we all know that one guy, if his IQ was one point lower, he would be a plant.
