Odds and Ends
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Nick
In Remembrance
LOL!
Measure all ya want, Photoshop can fix that. 
Nick
In Remembrance
Nick
In Remembrance
Nick
In Remembrance
Yes ..
Nick
In Remembrance
A Week seems awful long .. LOL!
5 hours seems awful long.
Found this on another forum
"True story, if I'm lyin', I'm dyin'. My stupid brother (hereinafter referred to as "StuBro"), was on a bike, racing against a friend down a gravel driveway that entered the main road at a sharp angle. He sped out onto the main road with his hands in the air, looking back and shouting, "I WON!!"...and ran head-on into an oncoming car. He immediately suffered a badly broken arm and wrist, and was tossed over 30 feet in the air into a ditch where his face and upper body lost several battles with rocks.
The poor woman who struck him was devastated, but StuBro, in shock, seemed almost unconcerned. His bike was toast. She helped him into her car and drove him to our house (it was on the way to the nearest hospital). He came waltzing down the path with his arm in an S-shape, saying "Look at my arm -- this is KOO-ool". ...I did tell you he's stupid, right? The woman kept apologizing profusely, but Mom told her it wasn't her fault, StuBro was an idiot.
Anyway, Mom drives both of us to the hospital...I wasn't going to miss a moment of this particular event. We get to the emergency room. StuBro is bleeding from multiple wounds on his face and other places, and his arm looks like one of those balloons that the circus clowns twist into funny shapes. StuBro is now feeling the pain, and has started to howl. The reception nurse looks at him and says, ...
"What seems to be the problem?"
"True story, if I'm lyin', I'm dyin'. My stupid brother (hereinafter referred to as "StuBro"), was on a bike, racing against a friend down a gravel driveway that entered the main road at a sharp angle. He sped out onto the main road with his hands in the air, looking back and shouting, "I WON!!"...and ran head-on into an oncoming car. He immediately suffered a badly broken arm and wrist, and was tossed over 30 feet in the air into a ditch where his face and upper body lost several battles with rocks.
The poor woman who struck him was devastated, but StuBro, in shock, seemed almost unconcerned. His bike was toast. She helped him into her car and drove him to our house (it was on the way to the nearest hospital). He came waltzing down the path with his arm in an S-shape, saying "Look at my arm -- this is KOO-ool". ...I did tell you he's stupid, right? The woman kept apologizing profusely, but Mom told her it wasn't her fault, StuBro was an idiot.
Anyway, Mom drives both of us to the hospital...I wasn't going to miss a moment of this particular event. We get to the emergency room. StuBro is bleeding from multiple wounds on his face and other places, and his arm looks like one of those balloons that the circus clowns twist into funny shapes. StuBro is now feeling the pain, and has started to howl. The reception nurse looks at him and says, ...
"What seems to be the problem?"
After their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So, the husband went to his veterinarian and told him ...that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Kentucky) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.
The Kentuckian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. ''Trust me,' said the doctor.
So, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count! "1" "2" "3" “4” "5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, Parts of Georgia, Missouri, West Virginia, and all of Washington DC
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Kentucky) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.
The Kentuckian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. ''Trust me,' said the doctor.
So, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count! "1" "2" "3" “4” "5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, Parts of Georgia, Missouri, West Virginia, and all of Washington DC
Nick
In Remembrance
The story about StuBro reminded me of one of those TV court cases. Dude was suing a woman for damage to the hood of his car because he hit her in a crosswalk (when she had the right of way) and caused her to fly on to his hood. She countersued for her medical deductible and pain and suffering. The look on the judge's face was priceless though.
Another one in the same court (different episode) there was a woman suing two other women for wrongful arrest (or something along those lines). The plaintiff was arrested for pulling out a BBgun in a Walmart and firing at the two women (almost hitting one woman's toddler), busting up products on shelves, & injuring one of the women. The defendant countersued of course.
The funniest one though, was back when Judge Wopner (sp?) was on the People's Court. Plaintiff was suing defendant (who owned a tv repair shop). Plaintiff had taken his tv to be fixed at the shop, defendant lost it somehow. Not sure if he sold it or what. But the kicker was, the defendant was countersuing because he had an argument with the plaintiff over the tv and claimed he was so upset about it that he had a nightmare about having a fistfight with the plaintiff and somehow managed to punch his own tooth out in his sleep. He was suing for dental bills. The judge just stared at him speechless for awhile before he was finally able to process the stupid.
Another one in the same court (different episode) there was a woman suing two other women for wrongful arrest (or something along those lines). The plaintiff was arrested for pulling out a BBgun in a Walmart and firing at the two women (almost hitting one woman's toddler), busting up products on shelves, & injuring one of the women. The defendant countersued of course.
The funniest one though, was back when Judge Wopner (sp?) was on the People's Court. Plaintiff was suing defendant (who owned a tv repair shop). Plaintiff had taken his tv to be fixed at the shop, defendant lost it somehow. Not sure if he sold it or what. But the kicker was, the defendant was countersuing because he had an argument with the plaintiff over the tv and claimed he was so upset about it that he had a nightmare about having a fistfight with the plaintiff and somehow managed to punch his own tooth out in his sleep. He was suing for dental bills. The judge just stared at him speechless for awhile before he was finally able to process the stupid.
Judge Judy reminds me of a real judge. Some of her decisions make no sense at all.
